Hide'N'Seek
by Emziiee-xxx
Summary: We're playing Hide and Seek...We're sixteen. Come on. Oh well... Willow and Tara. Self harm, Sex and Swearing. Heed the rating Kiddies. BEEN ADOPTED. SEE INSIDE!
1. Prolouge

"Tara? Tara? Where have you gone? Come on. I'm not playing any more. Come out please." I heard a giggle from a bush nearby. So that's where she was hiding. I started to walk away, singing a little nursery rhyme that I had made up when I was about ten years old.

"_Around the corner and by the fence  
the fence  
Collect the wood for a bonfire  
a bonfire_."  
I stepped carefully behind the bush and pounced on it. I felt someone beneath me and, just as I had thought...Tara was there. I started to tickle her, feeling her wriggling beneath me, breathless from laughing. She kept wriggling, trying to roll out from underneath me. I let her go after about five minutes, feeling bad that I had tortured her for so long.

"Willow that's not fair. You gave me no chance to retaliate. That's childish." She was calling me childish? She was the one who wanted to play Hide and Seek. We were sixteen for gods sakes. I allowed it only because Tara had never really had a childhood so had never really had a chance to play these kind of games. I was broken out of my thoughts by a rather heavy...something, launching itself at me and knocking me back to the floor. Dammed. I knew I shouldn't have dropped my guard. Now I was the one being un-mercifully tickled. I could feel the bracken underneath me cracking as I tried my very hardest to roll out from underneath my best friend.

"I give in! Tara okay! I give up!" Tara gave me a celebratory smile before standing and helping me to my feet. "We should get back to our Dorm. I have coursework to do." Tara pouted but nodded. We started walking back, occasionally purposely bumping into each other, trying to knock the other person off their feet. Tara pushed me into a bush at one point and I succeeded in knocking her over. Once.

"Willow! Tara! Are you out here?" Wonderful. I thought, mentally rolling my eyes. Just what we needed. Buffy and Dawn all worried about us.

"Tell them we got lost." I muttered to Tara out of the side of my mouth. She nodded discreetly. Buffy and Dawn worried about me constantly. I was Bi-Polar so they worried about me losing control completely and hurting someone. Or myself again. Tara was the only person who was completely comfortable with me. She could stop me doing anything to stupid when I'm in a good mood and calm me down when I'm in a bad mood. She was the only one I truly felt comfortable with as well. I didn't have to hide my problem and I didn't have to worry about stressing her out. She took everything in her stride.

"Yeah we're here. Sorry we're late. We went for a walk and got lost." Tara shouted back as two figures approached us. Buffy was in our year in and Dawn was in the year below. All four of us pretty much hated this boarding school. Luckily we were all in the same dorm. Along with another girl called Anya. Anya was alright but...we weren't all that close to her. Our family dynamic worked well. We all looked out for Dawn. Tara looked out for me. Buffy made sure that none of us were picked on and I kept everyone reasonably sane...by being insane. It was a little bit odd but it worked. I was an only child so I enjoyed this feeling of family and I knew that Tara didn't have a very good home life so this was a break for her. Buffy was the first to reach me. She wrapped me in a hug then held me at arm's length to take a look at me. I was trying so hard not to roll my eyes.

"I'm fine Buffy. Honestly. Tara would never let me get hurt. You should know this." Buffy nodded and let me go. Dawn caught up just then. Buffy held her back with one arm to stop her from doing the same thing that Buffy herself had just done. She must think I'm in a bad mood. I did roll my eyes at that point. I was not in a bad mood. But I was beginning to get in one. Tara placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Relax Will. There just worried." She whispered. I felt all the tension drain from my body. Goddammit how did she do that?  
"Come on guys. We have to get back before Joyce locks the doors." Joyce was our housemother. She locked the doors at Ten every night. I looked at my watch. It was 9:45. It took ten minutes to get back to the dorm. We should make it if we started walking now. I started walking, knowing that Tara and Buffy would follow me and Dawn would follow Buffy. We did get back in time but we got a rather disapproving look from Joyce. I just shrugged. I may have been a good student but I rarely ever followed the rules. I just didn't get into that much trouble mainly because I was a good student and because I was Bi-Polar. So sometimes my actions weren't my own. By the time we managed to get to our room Anya was snoring, Dawn was yawning and my bad mood was returning. I stripped off and got into my tank top and shorts that I wore to bed. I lay down and felt sleep sweep over me, grasping at me and pulling my deeper and deeper into its black embrace.

When I awoke it was still dark out. I looked at my watch again. It was half past one. I tried to remember what had woke me up. It was a strange noise. Not a normal noise for around here. I strained my ears. There it was again. It sounded like...someone crying. Wait. Not just someone. Tara. Tara was crying? Why? What was going on? I threw my covers off and sat up. Tara sobbed again. I stood and began walking carefully over to her bed. She was facing away from me, curled into a tight little ball, shaking due to her tears. I placed a hand on her shoulder and she jumped, flipping round.

"Willow?" She whispered, her voice still all shaky.

"Yeah it's me. What's wrong Tara?" I sat on the edge of her bed and rested a hand on her hip. She didn't speak but she snuggled up to me.  
"You want me to stay?" I asked. I knew her so well. She nodded and I climbed into the bed and let her lie as close to me as humanly possible without us being the same person.  
"You wanna talk Ta?" I asked her, running my fingers through her blonde hair.

"My dad sent me a letter today...Saying that he is gonna pull me out of here...He says it's cause he can't afford it. He says unless my grades improve I'm going home. I don't want to go back there Will. I don't want to go back to them." She was sobbing again now, wetting my shirt. I let her cry it out, still finger combing her hair.

"Shush. It's okay Tara...I'll talk to my parents. If your Dad truly tries to pull you out of school then I'll get them to pay your tuition. My parents like you remember. Especially after they watched you calm me down the first time they met you." I told her, rubbing her back now. Tara sniffed and I felt her nod into my shirt.  
"Now go to sleep you silly goose.

_Come stop your crying it will be alright  
Just take my hand, hold it tight  
I will protect you from all around you  
I will be here don't you cry_

_For one so small you seem so strong  
My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm  
The bond between us, can't be broken  
I will be here don't you cry_"  
She had fallen asleep. She let out a little snuffly noise as I stopped singing but didn't wake up. I lay there and let sleep reclaim me, hoping that we could sort this problem out.

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**Em - There you go. The prolouge. I hope you enjoy.**


	2. Conclusions Dawnie

"OH MY GOD BUFFY! Buffy Look!" Dawn. I internally grumbled, not willing to wake up yet. I felt someone move against me, huddling back towards me and I remembered where I was. In Tara's bed.

"Buffy! Look! Willow and Tara! They slept together last night! Look!" Stop jumping to the wrong conclusions Dawn. I nudged Tara with my foot and she grumbled a bit before stretching out. I opened my eye's at last to be met with a mass of blonde hair directly in front of me. I threw the covers off and swung out of the bed.

"It's to early to be shouting Dawn." I muttered as I turned back to the bed and pulled the covers off Tara in an attempt to wake her up. She huddled herself into a tighter ball but her eyes remained firmly closed. I almost growled.

"Sorry Willow." Dawn said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.  
"But did you?" She added excitedly. I snatched the Pillow from under Tara's head and began to beat her with it.

"Did I what?" I countered, still beating Tara with the pillow. She was stubborn in the mornings.

"Did you sleep with Tara?" She asked. I rolled my eye's and held the pillow above my head.

"In the same bed. Yes. Together as in made love. No. Tara was upset and couldn't sleep so I agreed to comfort her. You can ask her that yourself if she ever gets out of fricken bed." I said, beginning to pummel her once more.

"You shouldn't swear in front of children Will." A sleepy voice said as Tara caught the pillow before it hit her on the head. I half laughed.

"Hypocrite." I muttered as I let go and walked back towards my bed. I heard Tara sitting up and before I could take another step something had rammed into my back on knocked face first onto my bed. I knew straight away that Tara had jumped on me. Again. I was sorta expecting it, hence why I had walked away before I had muttered Hypocrite so that I would land on my bed.  
"Do you mind Tara? I would quite like to get dressed for school." I said in a flat voice, attempting to pretend that I didn't find this hilariously funny. Tara stood and then helped me back to my feet,

"Honestly. You two are so childish." I heard Buffy say. I turned to look at her to find her all dressed already in her school uniform. I got changed within two minutes and then stood next to her, tapping my foot impatiently, waiting for Dawn and Tara. Anya had already gone for breakfast by the look of things. I looked down at my Uniform. I hated it. It was a white button up blouse with a red ribbon where the tie should be and a cream skirt with a red trim. And we weren't allowed to wear trousers. Unless it was the weekend then we could wear what we wanted. Also. Anyone with hair long enough had to have it tied in twin plaits. It was so annoying. My hair was barely long enough and although I could get away with a lot I couldn't get away with messing with the uniform. Unfortunately. I think Tara had sensed that I was getting wound up as she came over and rested a hand on my shoulder. I smiled at her and let myself relax. Dawn was the last one to be ready, despite her being the first one up. We walked into breakfast together, already expecting the hostility that we were bound to receive. Most of it was aimed at me but Tara got quite a bit for being the person closest to me.

"Oi! Freakzoid! Freakzoid!" That was Drusilla. She was one of the most popular girls in school, despite being totally childish. I mean come on. She still carried a doll round with her. Miss Edith. I had stolen the doll once. I wasn't entirely myself but…it did kinda alienate Drusilla from me. She now wanted my blood. Which was unfortunate.

"Buffy! Dawn! Tara! Willow!" ah. Good 'ol Xander. The only guy in school that spoke to me. There was Angel but he normally only spoke to Buffy. Xander was sat at our normal table, with Anya and Angel. The boys uniform wasn't much better than ours but…at least they didn't have to wear a skirt. There's was a white button up shirt and a red tie and black pants. Lucky sods. And as long as it wasn't dyed they could wear their hair how they wanted. I so sometimes wished that I had been born a boy.

"Hey Xander." I said as I sat down with my now full tray. There was an upside to this school. The food was Great! Tara sat next to me, with Dawn next to her and Buffy, as per usual, sat on my other side, next to Angel.

"So Willow. We have science today. Up for a little frog discecting?" Xander asked, miming discecting on his porridge. I shrugged, biting into an apple and letting the juices run down my chin.

"Xander that is so gross!" Dawn cried, being loud as usual.

"Dawn. I think you could have spoke a little louder. I don't think the headmistress in her tower heard you yet." Tara said, nudging Dawn softly. I smiled. Glad someone was doing something about her volume controls, seriously. She had no concept of indoor and outdoor. Everywhere just got the same volume. Loud.  
"Willow. You have apple juice running down your chin." Tara pointed out before she reached out and wiped it off for me. I didn't complain. I felt a bit strange as she did it though. As though one of my mood swings was coming on. But this sensation was slightly different. It felt like something was flapping in my stomach…which was normal for a mood swing, but there was no headache, no sense of wanting to punch someone or to cry…no…nothing. That was strange. I looked up to Tara's face and she was frozen, her hand still resting on my face. There it was again. At the exact moment we made eye contact. The fluttering. I looked away and stood up.

"I have to go. I'll see you in class." And I basically fled the canteen, leaving my tray on the table. As soon as I was out of sight I started running. I kept on running, right out of the school building, all the way out to the woods where I had been playing Hide and Seek with Tara. Her face popped into my head. Not her normal face but the face she was making when I had been tickling her. That brought the fluttering back. Why wouldn't it go away! I ran into the centre of the woods, knowing exactly where I was going. I got there and flung myself to my knees, digging. I kept digging till I found it. My trusty scalpel and the disinfecting kit. I had told Buffy that I had left the scalpel at home, but the truth was I had buried it here, in a plastic bag, along with a disinfecting kit so that any cuts I made with it didn't get infected. I ran a cotton bud covered in disinfectant up and down the blade a few times, making sure that it was clean before I pulled back the sleeve of my blouse, revealing all the white scars that were already there. I didn't know why I was doing this again. But I was confused. And scared. And I needed something to let it out. And this was the best way I knew. I pressed the blade to the inner part of my left arm and pressed down before drawing it back sharply. The wound almost instantly started bleeding. I did it again and again, not stopping even after I heard footsteps. I just kept going. My blood was flowing now, thick and fast. I wondered momentarily how much I was loosing. I didn't care.

"Willow!" I heard a voice cry, but I paid no attention, I just kept cutting. Scalpel down, pull back, blood. Scalpel down, pull back, blood. Scalpel down, pull back, blood. Repeated and repeated. Over and over again.  
"Willow!" There it was again. The voice. I recognised that voice. I turned and saw Tara stood at the edge of the clearing, tears pouring down her face.

"Tara…" And then there was black.

* * *

**A/N: Well now...Willow...Has been very naughty.**

**By the way. I just want to say...I do not put Self harm in this as a joke, nor do I disregard the pain some people go through that drive them to that point. How can I? When I have done it myself. I have put this in here as Willow here struggles to express her pain in any other way. This is her outlet as it may be for many people.**

**I just thought that I would add that as I know that some people put things like Self harm in their stories as a joke. I wanted you to know that I do not.**

**Now...away from the seriousnessess.**

**R&R Please.**

**Loves  
Em**


	3. Infirmary

"_Willow." I span round. Nothing had changed in my surroundings. It was still all completely white._

"_Hello?" I called back. I could sense someone behind me. I didn't turn around. I didn't want to. A hand was on my shoulder._

"_Willow. Back here again." I did turn round now. There was a girl there. With black hair. And black eyes. No pupils. Just black. How very odd._

"_Who are you?" I asked, standing face to face with the strange girl._

"_I'm offended Willow. How can you not recognise me." I shrugged.  
"I'm you Willow. Your other half. The reason your Bi-Polar. It's me." I felt my mouth hang open. I snapped it shut and just stared. She didn't look like me. I mean I have red hair. And brown eyes. Okay so we had the same pale skin…but that was about it._

"_Your not me. You look nothing like me." I said, beginning to babble. The girl chuckled._

"_Oh Willow, Willow, Willow." She said, shaking her head.  
"You should know better than to just go on looks. I am you. Close your eyes. Feel it. You know it. Deep inside yourself. I am you and you are me. You are the positivity. Happiness, Joy. I am the negativity. Anger and Sadness. And both of us are Love. Which I believe is what lead you to be here." I looked at her…me…strange thought, and I finally saw it. But I was confused by her last statement._

"_What do you mean that it was love that brought me here? I don't love anyone." I stated. But I wasn't angry. I didn't seem able to be angry. So maybe she…I… was telling the truth._

"_Maybe you aren't yet. But you are beginning to fall. Do you want to continue? Or do you wish to stop and climb out."_

"_I don't get what your on about."_

"_Well…sorry Willow. I can't tell you."_

"_Willow." That wasn't my voice. Either of me. That was Tara's voice._

"_Willow wake up." She sounded like she was crying. Why was she crying?_

"_Tara? Tara where are you?" I asked, spinning around. I was stopped by myself, catching me by my shoulders._

"_You just need to wake up. And then you'll see her. I hope you figure it out soon Willow." Okay now I was confused. The whiteness was becoming to bright. To…white. It was hurting. I squeezed my eye's shut, trying to block it out._

"Willow?" I blinked a couple of times. Where was I? It looked like the Infirmary and…What the Hell was I wearing? It most definitely not my school uniform. Nor was it anything I owned. Someone had undressed me? Why? And what was I doing in the Infirmary. I tried to lift my left arm and felt a searing pain shoot through it. Oh yeah. That was why.

"Willow. Are you awake?" Tara. I turned my head to the other side and saw that she was crying. I lifted my right arm and wiped away the tears.

"Yeah I'm awake Ta. Why are you crying?" I asked, noticing how croaky my voice was. How long had I been out?

"You you idiot. You're why I'm crying. I thought you were never gonna wake up." I was taken aback. I had made Tara cry? Little Tara. Tara who always took everything in her stride. I felt the tears welling up behind my eyes.

"Tara. Don't cry. Please don't cry. You can't get rid of me. You should know this." I said, trying my hardest to smile and to not let the tears fall. But I couldn't help myself and a few escaped. I could feel them, hot and salty running down my cheeks. Tara leaned in and wiped them away, before kissing me on the forehead.

"It's okay Will. Relax and rest a bit more. You need to get your strength back. I'll be here when you wake up." I smiled at her.

"Tara…Just one more question. What am I wearing?" I fell back asleep to the sound of her laughing.

"_Willow. Welcome back." Great. Me again. Just what I needed right now._

"_What do you…I…want?" I asked, still seemingly unable to get angry. I span round to face her and she was smiling. Not a nice smile. Actually it was more of a smirk._

"_You can call me you. Easier to do. And really. Nothing. I was just greeting you. Welcoming you back to the realm of your…our…unconsciousness." She said._

"_Well… I'm just going to sit and wait until I wake up. I do not want to talk to you since you are being all cryptic." And I stuck to my word. I sat. And waited. Until other me sat next to me. I'm not sure how but at some point I ended up leaning on her.  
"Why does it have to be like this? Why can't I dream? Why do I always end up here?" I asked myself, sighing._

"_Because your different Willow. We're different. There is only one person who is able to unite us. And honestly. Its not us."_

"_This is what I was on about. Your being all cryptic." I pushed myself off her then and just remained sitting. I heard myself chuckle.  
"What?" I asked, turning my head to face me._

"_Your wanted. Wake up now Will." Okay now I was confused…_

"Hey Willow." Buffy?

"Is she awake now?" Dawn?

"I think so. I'll go and kick Tara. Tell her Will's awake." I rolled over, taking care not to jar my arm to much.

"Hey guys." I croaked. Dawn handed me a glass of water. Apparently we were sharing the same thoughts. I gulped it down in one go and handed the glass back to Dawn.

"Hey Tara." I said as she walked into the room. Her face lit up and she rushed to my side.  
"You never answered my question Ta. What am I wearing?" I asked again. I let her laugh before she answered.

"Your wearing a hospital gown Will. The nurse had to change you cause your clothes were covered in blood. Do you remember what happened?" I nodded as I watched Buffy and Dawn attempt to sidle out of the room. I let them go, wondering why they were going.

"Tara. Would you believe me if I told you something completely crazy?" I asked, gauging her reaction from the facial expressions that she was making.

"Depends. Try me Will. Then I'll tell you if I believe you." I nodded and swallowed.

"I…I…I think I'm gay." Tara's face went through so many phases in the few seconds before she answered.

"Okay…How do you know…Or how do you think you know?" She asked.

"Well…When I look at this girl…I get butterflies in my stomach…and…I find myself wanting to be with her at all times…and wanting to be able to hold her and to be with her…all the time." I think I was beginning to blush towards the end.

"Okay. Who is the girl? Is it Buffy? Or…I know. It's Faith. She's gay as well. She's funny and cool and real easy to love." I felt like hitting myself on the forehead. Was Tara really that stupid?

"No it's not Buffy. Nor is it Faith. It's really simple." I hoped she would get it.

"Dawn?" Or not.

"No. I am not nor will I ever be a kiddy feeler. Keep guessing."

"Well I know it isn't Anya. I doubt it would be Cordelia. So there's no-one left. Unless…No. It wouldn't be…it's not…me is it?" Oh praise the lord he has granted her the power of a brain. Now I knew I was bright red.

"Well…Yeah. It is." I was waiting for her to bolt. To do what I would have done and run. Far. And fast. And never come back.  
"It's okay if you hate me. Or if you never want to speak to me again. It's fine…" I trailed off, beginning to cry. Tara still wasn't speaking. What was going through her head? Was she okay?

"Willow…I…I don't know what to say. I need to think about this. I-I'll speak to you later." And then she left. I rolled over onto my side, curled up and started sobbing. I'm an idiot. Only an idiot would fall for her best friend.

"I'm sorry Tara."

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**A/N: Well...I think Willow has figured it out. I wonder what Tara will do. I hope Willow will be okay.**

**R&R Please.**


	4. Answers

It couldn't have been earlier than midnight…And I couldn't sleep. I placed a load of Pillows in my bed so that it looked like I was still there and I was sitting on my windowsill, staring out at the full moon. I was still in the infirmary so I didn't need to worry about waking anyone up. And if the nurse popped her head round the door to check on me it would look like I was still in bed. I heard the door swing open and I tried to quiet my breathing.

"Willow?" Tara? What. On. Earth?  
"Will are you awake? Look I get it if you're mad at me for taking off but… I needed time to think and…well I think I know my answer. Willow I hope you can hear me… I would like to try. I would like to try and make whatever it is between us work." Now I was smiling. I dropped down from the windowsill as silently as possible and I snuck up behind Tara.

"I would like that too." I whispered as I wrapped my arms around her from behind. I felt Tara jump and I giggled slightly.

"I thought you were in the bed. Where were you?" I smiled as I leant my head on her shoulder.

"On the windowsill. Watching the moon. Thinking."

"Thinking about me?" Tara teased. I giggled again.

"Maybe. You gonna stay down here tonight? Or are you gonna try and sneak back upstairs?" I asked, removing my arms from her waist and beginning to remove the pillows from the bed. I threw them all into a corner when I felt some arms encircle my neck.

"I think I'll stay here. I'll only worry if your down here and I'm up there." This made me smile. She was so sweet. I lay down and patted the bed next to me. Tara hesitated.  
"Tara…You've shared a bed with me many times. Relax. Your gonna get cold standing there in only your pyjama's." Which are totally cute by the way. I added silently. Tara smiled, seemingly reading my mind.

"But…It's different now. We're…well dating." I rolled my eyes.

"Relax Ta. I won't do anything. Promise. We can lie top and tail if it'd make you feel better." I said, still holding the cover up for her to get in. It was her turn to giggle now and in she climbed. I wrapped her feet in my legs and felt her stiffen.  
"Your feet are cold. Let me warm them up." She relaxed and snuggled into me. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her once on the forehead.  
"Night Tara. See you in the morning." Tara mumbled something unintelligible and I smiled.

~The next morning~

"Good mor…Oh!" I let my eyes flicker open and was met, yet again, by a mass of blonde hair. I remembered what had happened last night and I smiled. Tara had said yes!  
"Willow if your gonna sleep with people then at least wait until your back in the dorms." I rolled my eyes. She was as bad as Dawn.

"I didn't sleep with Tara. Tara couldn't sleep and came down here for comfort and fell asleep. Honestly. Why does everyone think that we sleep together." I shook my head as I sat up and I began to shake Tara. She would be getting up as I was going to school today, no matter what.  
"Come on Ta. Time to get up sweetie." I muttered as I tried to tempt her out of bed. I didn't feel like pummelling her this morning.  
"Ta I don't wanna beat you up today. Please just get up." She stirred and I smiled. I stood up and went to walk away before a hand sprang out of the bed and caught me by the back of my shorts.

"Where do you think your going?" I heard Tara's groggy voice say. I grinned.

"To get dressed. You should do that as well Tara. School starts soon." Tara groaned and released my shorts. I began walking away, listening to her grumble. The nurse walked out of the room when I got to my uniform.

"Stupid school. Stupid uniform. Stupid sleep. Stupid bed…that isn't my own…Where am…Oh yeah. The Infirmary. I don't have a uniform." Said Tara as she stood up. I turned round as I finished buttoning up my shirt. I still needed to put my skirt on so I was only technically half dressed.

"Sneak back upstairs. Tell Buffy and Dawn that you couldn't sleep and went for a walk dead early. No need to tell them that you were here. If you don't want to I mean." I said, rubbing my arm towards the end. Tara stepped closer to me and wrapped me in a hug.

"Do you want to tell them?" She asked as we rested our heads on the others shoulder.

"Only if you do." I told her, smiling even though she couldn't see it. She pulled back and held me at arms length. Normally this annoyed me but I felt a strange sense of calm. I suddenly remembered something that other me had said. '_There is only one person who is able to unite us. And honestly. Its not us._' Maybe she meant…Tara. She had always been able to calm me down. I pondered and decided that I was going to ask myself next time I went back there.

"I want to tell them. I don't see why we should hide it." Now that was why I liked Tara. So decisive and strong. And oh so very cute. I smiled.

"Then you tell them. But I need to finish getting dressed. You should probably go and do the same or we won't get any breakfast." Tara nodded and released me. Just before she got out the door she turned back and blew me a kiss. I grinned and pretended to catch it and held it to my chest. I blew one back and she did the same.  
"See you later."

"You too." She said.

~Breakfast~

I walked into the hall alone, for the first time in well…ever. I ignored Drusilla's remarks, as usual and grabbed a tray of fruit and headed straight to our normal table. There was a new addition. A blonde guy. He was sat on the other side of Buffy and it looked like him and Angel were arguing. Wonderful. I slid into a seat, next to Tara and Dawn. Tara took my hand in hers and I smiled. I heard Dawn giggle and I turned to her.

"Don't you dare miss dirty mind. Keep your perverted thoughts to yourself child." Dawn went bright red and everyone at the table laughed, except for Angel and the blonde dude. I nudged Tara.

"Who's he?" I asked her, grabbing an apple with my free hand and biting into it.

"His name is Spike. He fancies Buffy. Angel is not pleased. And here comes Faith." She muttered back, squeezing my hand. I looked up and twisted round to see Faith coming up behind us.

"Hey guys. How are you?" I rolled my eyes as Buffy answered for us.

"Alright. Getting a headache but alright. And you?" She asked, leaning forward so that she could talk to Faith properly.

"Five by five cutie. Hey Red. Glad to see you and s-s-s-stutter have finally stopped beating around the bush." She said as she sat on Tara's other side. I didn't mind my nickname but making fun of Tara's, now disappeared, stutter was not something I could take.

"I'm pretty glad to Faith. And I would prefer it if you didn't make fun of my girlfriend. Especially not when I've just gotten out of the Infirmary." I said, not looking at Faith but continuing to eat. Spike looked up.

"Your girlfriend? Your friends with a Dyke Buffy?" He asked, well mainly shouted. I growled and felt Tara's hand grip mine tighter. Buffy turned to Spike and Faith stood and walked over next to Buffy.

"I am friends with three people who like people of the same sex Spike. Faith here is one of them. And she could kick your ass from here to kingdom come and back again. And with my help she could knock you to the other side of the universe and back." Faith cracked her knuckles and Buffy smiled, rather evilly.

"Okay, okay. Relax. It just took me by surprise is all. You don't bat for the other team do you Buffy?" He asked, as Faith went to sit back down.

"No. As Angel knows well." She said, leaning back against her boyfriend. I smiled. Things were back the way they should be. But they probably wouldn't be that way for long.

"Tara Maclay to the Headmasters office please." See what I mean.


	5. Leaving

**A/N: Sorry for not updating. It's been almost a week. Here's a new chapter...Another one should be up soon...Enjoy**

* * *

I stiffened. My name was called again.

"Tara Maclay to the headmaster's office Now Please." I could hear how impatient the announcer was. Oh god. It was my Father. I could almost sense it. Just as my internal panicking was about to hit its peak I felt Willow squeeze my hand.

"Come on Ta. I'll walk you there." She said, offering me her adorable little half smile. I had always known that there was something between us but I don't think I truly accepted it till last night. When I had gone down there I didn't actually have an answer in mind. I had tried making my mind up but I just wouldn't have it. The speech that I managed to babble out all came to me in the spur of the moment. I rose with Willow, wishing my table a quiet goodbye and we walked together, towards the headmaster's tower.

"What do you think is going on?" Willow asked.

"I-it's m-my d-d-dad." I said simply. Now I knew I was panicking. I was stuttering again. I always stuttered at home but I rarely stuttered here and even less around Willow. Willow seemed to notice this as well as she pulled me off course and into a storage cupboard. In there she hugged me close, allowing me chance to breathe in her scent, the essence of Willow. That would make a great perfume.  
I hugged her back, relishing at the feel of her pressed up against me, knowing that if it was my dad that this would probably be the last time that we could do anything at all. I would probably never see her again.  
At this the tears finally came. I sobbed and sobbed, clinging to Willow as if she was a life-support ring and I was a drowning swimmer. She let me, rubbing up and down my back gently, offering the moral support and comfort that I needed. We couldn't have been there very long but to me it felt an eternity. I mentally logged everything. Every motion of her hand and every feeling so that when I was alone I could re-live this final moment.

"Tara…Baby…Look at me." Willow urged, cupping my chin and bringing my face gently to eye level with her.  
"I'm not going to let anything happen to you." She said, in such a firm voice that I almost believed her. I knew it was futile but as the saying goes. It was the thought that counted. She couldn't stop this. My father was going to take me home and then that was it for me.  
I wondered, in a moment of true pessimism, how long it would be until my body was found. I at that moment truly understood why Willow cut herself. The feeling of the blood flowing out of me would have been a welcome one right now.  
Before I had chance to think anymore there was an unfamiliar sensation on my lips. Willow was kissing me. I closed my eyes and kissed her back, just as softly as she was kissing me, still mentally logging everything. Her hand travelled up from my back to cup my cheeks and the one from my chin went down to hold the back of my neck. Again another timeless moment seemed to pass before Willow removed her lips from mine and rested her forehead against my own.  
"I'm not going to let anything happen to you." She repeated. I nodded, still knowing it was futile but letting her believe that it was not. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and looked at her.

"D-do I l-look l-l-like I've b-been c-crying?" I asked, meeting her eyes. She looked back and in one of the most sincere voices I have ever heard anyone use she told me…

"You look beautiful baby." I couldn't help but smile then. And I knew that she was telling the truth. In her eyes I was always beautiful.

"L-lets g-g-go th-then." I said, still smiling. I took her hand again and we resumed our walk, after exiting the storage room of course. When we reached the headmasters door I knew that this was were I would be going it alone.  
"I-I'll g-go i-in o-on m-my o-own. I-I'll S-see y-you w-when I c-come o-out." I stuttered out, not willing to let go of her hand. Willow leaned in and kissed my quickly on the lips, just a quick peck.

"You'll be fine Baby. I'll be right here when you get out." I smiled at her and walked in through the door, my hand feeling empty without hers within it.  
As I had expected my father was sat at the headmaster's desk with my older brother by his side. The headmaster, Mr Giles, looked very sombre.

"Have a seat Miss Maclay." Said Mr Giles, indicating to the seat next to my father. I sat, sitting as far away from my father as possible. Mr Giles smiled at me and I gave him a quick lip jerk in return. My hands fidgeted with each other, a normal thing for me to do when I was nervous.  
"Well Miss Maclay. It seems that your Father here wants to remove you from Sunnydale boarding school and take you home. Despite the fact that we love having you here and all the great things you have brought to this school there is nothing we can do. Mr Maclay. She's all yours." I knew it. I had known it from the moment that I had received the letter. My Father had tried getting rid of me, but sending me here had made me happy and that was the last thing he wanted. So he was going to take me back and make my life a literal hell before one of us, either him or me, killed me. And that would be it. And I would never see or hear from Willow again. I bit back the tears. I refused to cry in front of my Father.  
"Mr Maclay if you and your son could step outside a minute so I can have a word with your daughter it would be much appreciated" Mr Giles said, not looking at me. My father nodded and walked out of the room, my half-wit of a brother on his heels. As soon as the door shut I broke down. Mr Giles let me cry and for that I was grateful. I knew that this would be another last. Last time I would ever cry probably. My father seemed to feed on my tears and if I cried he hurt me more. After I had sobbed for a good five minutes I was finally beginning to slow.  
"I tried Tara I really did." Mr Giles said as I reached for the tissues. I nodded as I wiped my eyes.

"I kn-know M-Mr G-Giles." I pulled a piece of paper and a pen from my bag and scribbled something quick down.  
"C-could y-you g-give th-this t-to W-Willow p-please?" I asked, folding it over and holding it out towards him. He nodded and then took the paper. He let my father and brother back in. They told me that my bags were already all packed and in the car. That and my little friend had been sent back to lessons. Thank heaven for small mercies. I wouldn't have to say goodbye to my Willow. I followed my Father out of the school and away from the only piece of happiness I have ever had. I just let myself replay mine and Willows first and last kiss over and over, remembering completely, knowing that that would probably be the last thing I let go through my mind, even when my father was killing me.

* * *

**A/N: Just to point out, No Tara is not dead. She just reckons that her Father is going to kill her. And she is promising herself that the memory of Willow kissing her is going to be the last thing she will remember and the last thing she lets run through her mind.**

**R&R Please**

**Loves  
Em**


	6. I will Remember you

I ran straight back to the headmasters office at break. Tara hadn't come back to lesson so she must still be there. Either she was in big trouble or she was being rewarded. I banged three times in quick succession on the heavy wooden door, bouncing on the balls of my feet. Mr Giles opened the door and I bounded past him. I stopped, mid-bound, halfway across his room. There was no-one here…But…Where was…NO!

"How could you!" I accused as I span round to face Mr Giles. He looked at me sorrowfully.  
"I promised her everything would be alright! How could you let them take her! How could she go and not say goodbye…" I lost it then and I fell to the floor and sobbed. I had lost her. And so soon after we had found each other. A flash of our first, and now apparently last, kiss flew through my head. The resigned look in her eyes as I pulled away. She knew that this was going to happen. I suppose on some level I did too. Mr Giles bent down, placed a piece of folded paper next to me then walked out, giving me some alone time. I stood, grabbing the paper and sat at the grand piano that was in the corner of the room. I unfolded the paper and traced the familiar lettering that was Tara's. The letter read…

_Dear Willow…_

_God this is hard. I know what your probably thinking right now. 'How could she leave without saying goodbye?' I'm right aren't I? Don't worry…This is my goodbye. I know that we will never see each other again and although it pains me I'm not going to cry any more and neither should you.  
Now don't scowl and listen to what I have to say. I don't want you doing anything stupid because of me. Got it? No cutting yourself or trying to kill yourself. I'm not worth it.  
Although we weren't together long (Gotta be like the worlds shortest relationship) I know we had something and I will treasure that something for as long as I live. I know you'll find someone else. And promise me you won't cut yourself off from everyone. Buffy and Dawnie care about you. Let them._

_Now you were always better at writing these things than me but I tried and this is what I came up with…_

_I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories_

Remember the good times that we had?  
I let them slip away from us when things got bad  
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun  
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired but I can't sleep  
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

But I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories  
Weep not for the memories

_Now don't you start crying on me Will… None of that silliness you hear me…Well read me technically. Move on and live sweetie. You'll be fine._

_I will remember you.  
Tara._

She had drawn a little rose at the bottom of the page. I stroked it in an almost trance like state. Tara was gone. She was never coming back. I was never going to see her again. I turned to the piano and tried to put a tune to the words Tara had written down. I needed to do something otherwise I would disobey Tara and I would be going straight back out to the woods to bleed. It was surprisingly easy. The tune just seemed to come to me.  
I heard the door swing open and after a few minutes I was wrapped in someone's arms. They spelt…Spicy. Faith. I allowed the hug, not wanting to break away but after a while it began to suffocate me. The closeness with someone who wasn't Tara. I jerked forward, pulling myself from Faiths arms, before turning round to face her.

"She's gone." I said simply.

"I know Red. And what are you going to do about it?" She asked, sitting next to me on the piano bench. We sat in silence for a while.

"I don't know Faith. I mean what can I do? There her family. I'm just…I'm nobody." That seemed to break Faith. She started shouting.

"NO YOUR NOT RED! YOU WERE IMPORTANT TO TARA! YOU HAD BETTER BELIEVE IT! AND WE WILL FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET HER BACK! You get me Red?" I was shocked. I didn't know Faith cared so much.

"Faith…"

"I don't wanna hear the negativity Red…I've been there…that dark place…the empty hole when someone you love so bad leaves you…I didn't do anything and it kills me every day…I'm not going to let that happen to you Red…Now we are going to spend the rest of today planning, then your going to sleep on it and tomorrow we are going to do something…We're going to get her back Willow. You can count on it." That was the first time she had ever called me Willow. Now I knew she meant business.

"Who?" I asked after a moment.

"Who what Red?"

"Who left you?" I asked, not looking at her.

"My first girlfriend…Her name was Hope…She left me for her ex-boyfriend…I never fought for her, preferring to think that she never loved me then to go and prove it…So yeah I know how bad it can feel and I'm not going to let you regret it for the rest of your life like I will…Your going to fight for her…And with any luck your going to win." I instantly felt sorry for Faith. She had been through a lot and was still willing to stick her neck on the line to take care of me. I could feel myself tearing up…

"Thank you Faith." We brainstormed for the rest of the day and drew several hundred blanks. Even Dawn with her amazing imagination couldn't think of anything. As I lay on my own that night, my brain still whirring I finally let myself cry properly. Not the 'breaking down' cry just the mourning sob that is easy to hide. That night was the first time I ever dreamt.

"_Willow?" I span round to find myself back in the infirmary with Tara._

"_Tara? What's going on?" Tara smiled and began walking towards me._

"_Willow…I miss you. I want you." I could practically feel my brain exploding at those three tiny words. Tara advanced towards me and I started stepping backwards. I kept retreating till the back of my knees hit the bed, then I fell down onto my ass on the bed, Tara still advancing on me. I swallowed the dry lump that had formed in my throat as Tara straddled me.  
"I want you Willow." Then she kissed me. I let it. I even started kissing back after a while. Tara's hands were roaming all over my body, but deliberately avoiding my breasts and my groin…I growled in frustration, biting her on the lip. Tara pulled away and grinned before grabbing both of my breasts roughly. My head fell back and I moaned a rather throaty moan. Tara smiled and began to unbutton my school shirt. She kept fiddling with the buttons and eventually I got so impatient that I ripped the clothing open before discarding it with a casual flick of my wrist. I went back to kissing Tara, letting her hands massage my breast none too gently. She broke the kiss, lent down and took one of my clothed nipples into her mouth. I felt my head fall back again._

"_Oh Tara baby…" I could hear my saying muttering breathily. Tara brought her head back to level with mine and smiled before…slapping me in the face?_

"_Bitch. You promised me everything would be okay. You let them take me." She slapped me again._

"_Tara. Baby. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to let them take you. I…" I didn't get chance to finish as she then punched me and pushed me backwards before climbing off my lap._

"_You promised Willow. Now what are you going to do about it huh?" I sat up and looked at her, looked at her hard eyes and set jaw._

"_I'm going to try and fix it. But how am I going to fix it Tara?" I asked._

"_Go and see Mr Giles. See if he will give you my address. If not I'm sure you, being the computer whizz that you are, would be able to hack into his system and get the information needed." She told me, her eye's softening a little bit.  
"I need you to rescue me Willow. I'm in hell. Save me."_

"_I'm trying Tara."_

I sat up, gasping for breath. So that was a dream. I looked at my watch. It was six in the morning. Mr Giles would probably be awake now. I snuck out of my room, intent on finding him. Intent on saving my Tara.


	7. Daydreams

"_Tara…" I stood, completely still, not wanting to break the moment.  
"Tara look at me." I turned round and saw her. Willow. She was really here._

"_Willow? Is that really you?" I asked, still not entirely believing it._

"_It's really me baby. I've come to get you. Come to save you. Come here." She said, holding her arms open. I practically flew into them and enveloped myself, once again, in her familiar and comforting scent. She wrapped her arms around me and let me just hold her._

"Tara! You had better be doing those dishes!" I heard my Father shout down.

"Y-yes S-sir." I replied, cursing him silently for breaking me out of my wonderful daydream. I didn't know how long I had been stuck in the basement for but it couldn't have been long. I had only slept once since leaving Sunnydale boarding school. There was a cooker, a sink and a bed. I was expected to cook and wash up for the two pigs upstairs and every so often I was taken upstairs to clean the rest of the house. I knew something like this would happen. It probably would have been fine if my mind wasn't constantly plagued with images and daydreams about Willow. I wondered how she was doing. I hoped she was moving on. I hoped she would listen to my letter.  
I let our first kiss run through my mind again as I scrubbed a particularly stubborn stain on a steel pan. My brother came thundering down the basement stairs and stood at the bottom just watching me. I ignored him and carried on scrubbing and thinking of Willow. I couldn't stop the little giggle that escaped through my lips at the memory of Willow pouncing on me as we played hide and seek.  
I heard a few heavy footsteps behind me then a sharp stinging sensation on the back of my head. My brother had hit me.

"What are you laughing at bitch?" He barked, his hand all fisted up, ready to hit me again.

"N-nothing D-Donny. J-just a M-memory." I said, bending down to pick up the pan I had dropped. Donny kicked me in the back of the head and sent me sprawling to the ground. I didn't even try to move and I certainly didn't cry. I think my nose was broken and I could feel blood dripping down my face from several places.

"You think your better than us don't you? Sat down here laughing at your 'memories'. You're a worthless slave and nothing more. You don't deserve happy memories. You don't deserve anything. I think Dad's too nice to you. Far too nice. But I'm not that nice." He stood on one of my outstretched arms and I felt something snap. He was going to kill me. I just closed my eyes and waited for it. It was pointless fighting it. It never came. I opened my eyes to find Donny on the floor at the other end of the basement, clutching his nose and someone stood next to me, their back to me, facing Donny.

~Earlier that day…~

I walked straight to the Headmasters office and banged on the door. Mr Giles opened it and didn't seem shocked to find me stood there. I pushed past him.

"I need Tara's address." I said simply. Mr Giles looked at me, half smiling.

"I can't give that to you Willow. However I could just leave it on the screen and leave and then I wouldn't be responsible for anyone who saw it that way." He walked to his computer and typed in some things.  
"I'll be back in a minute. Be good." He said with a wink as he walked out of the door. I ran straight to the screen and wrote down the address. I ran out of the door, shouting a quick thanks to Mr Giles and ran straight to Faiths dorm. She was in the bed nearest the door. I had to restrain myself from jumping on her.

"Faith! Faith wake up!" I insisted, shaking her vigorously. She groaned and sat up.

"Red? What the hell…?"

"Don't Faith. Just get up and get dressed. I've got Tara's address. We're going to get her. You still have your motorbike right?" I asked as she got out of bed, fully dressed. God that girl was weird.

"Corse I do Red. What kind of idiot do you think I am." She tossed me a helmet and then sprinted out the door, me hot on her heels. I gave her the address and climbed on the back of the motorbike.  
"It'll take us about six hours to get there. Be ready for the long journey Red."

"I don't care. Floor it Faith. I don't think I can deal with knowing where she is and not being there." I could almost hear Faith smiling. She revved the engine and we were off.

~Six hours later~

"Faith, knock on the front door with me, you distract whoever answers and I'll go and get Tara." I ordered as we pulled up outside the Maclay household. Faith nodded and we both dismounted the motorbike. I took in a deep breath before we knocked. The door was answered by Tara's father.

"Hey. Is Tara here?" Faith asked, already acting as the decoy.

"Oh. Are you her friends? I'm sorry. I did send a Memo to school. Tara was hit by a car yesterday." I knew it wasn't true. Almost straight away. I would have known if she was dead. Mr Giles would have told me. But I acted grief stricken and fell against Faith.

"Oh god. Tara." I said in mock horror. I caught a glimpse of a smile on the mans face before it disappeared. He was lying.

"Look. Why don't you come in for a minute so that your friend can calm down before you go back to school." He said, holding the door open. Was my acting really that good? Faith thanked him and helped me inside before guiding me to the sofa.

"Do you mind if I use your bathroom? I think I'm gonna be sick." I asked almost straight away.

"Certainly. Through the doors, past the kitchen then up the stairs." I nodded and stood.

"You sure your gonna be alright Red?" Asked Faith.

"I'll be Five by Five Kid. Just need to empty my gut." It was probably better if they didn't know our actual names. I walked through the kitchen and saw an open door. I heard something clang to the floor and then someone speaking in a rough voice. I walked down the stairs and saw some guy standing on Tara's arm. I heard it crack. That was it. Tara had closed her eyes and I snuck up behind the guy and tapped him on the shoulder. He span round and I punched him in the nose, feeling it break under my fist. I stood, with my back to Tara, facing the guy.

The person looked stiff, tense. Who were they?

"You lay one more finger on her and I swear to god you won't need a hospital. You'll need a morgue." Willow! She was here. I knew this wasn't a daydream. I couldn't daydream this much pain. It had to be real. Willow turned to me and crouched next to me.  
"Hey Tara. Me and Faith came to get you. Do you think you can stand?" She asked. I pushed myself up into a sitting position, using my good arm. Willow helped me the rest of the way up and then walked me out of the basement. When I walked into the living room I heard Faith gasp. I couldn't see her very well, there was blood obscuring my vision pretty bad.  
"Faith she needs a hospital. Could you ring an ambulance."

"On it Red." Willow guided me to the sofa and sat me down. I then heard her turn around.

"She died did she Mr Maclay. Well I must be a bloody miracle worker cause looked what I found in the basement, getting the shit beaten out of her by her brother. Who now has a broken nose by the way. You should never lie to a Rosenburg Mr Maclay. Do you know why? Because Rosenburg's have connections. Lawyers. Police. Social Services. You and your little shit of a son are going away. For a long long time. And you will never see nor hear from Tara again unless she wants it. Get me?" I could almost imagine my fathers face at this.

"Ambulance is on its way Red. This is gonna sound like a stupid question but how are 'ya feeling T?" I heard Faith ask. T. That was a nicer nickname than the last one.

"It is a bit of a stupid question Faith. I feel pretty crappy. I have a killer headache and I think my left arm is broken." I admitted truthfully.

"Y-you didn't stutter!" I heard my dad exclaim.

"That's right I didn't. Cause I feel safe with Willow and Faith. I know they won't let anything happen to me." I felt Faith sit down on my right side and Willow on my left. I don't know how long we sat there but after a while we heard sirens. Willow had gotten up at some point and gotten a damp cloth and wiped off some of the blood. I could see a bit now.

"Faith. You stay here and ring the police on these two shitbags. I'll go with Tara to the hospital. That is…If you want me to Tara." I looked at her. Was she stupid?

"Of course I want you to Willow. What are you stupid?"

"I won't answer that. I'll see you soon Faith. Don't let them leave." She told Faith before turning and walking out of the door with me. The ride to the hospital was rather uncomfortable. I didn't know if Willow was with Faith or not so I didn't want to touch her… but at the same time I wanted nothing but to touch her. The ambulance woman cleaned off the rest of the blood and re-set my nose but she couldn't do anything about my arm. Apparently I needed a doctor for that. Again the waiting at the hospital, after my arm had been set, was akward. Eventually though it was Willow who spoke.

"I missed you." She said, not looking at me.

"I missed you too. You seem to have gotten pretty close to Faith…Are you two…?" Subtle as a brick Tara. Subtle as a brick.

"What? Faith? Hell no. She was a good mate but…God Tara. You sure that blow to the head didn't fuck up your brain. I don't think it's possible to move on that fast. Jeez." She took my good hand in hers and squeezed.  
"I wouldn't move on until I knew that you didn't want me. And if I had never seen you again then I don't think I ever would have gotten with anyone else." She told me, still not looking at me. I bent down and cupped her chin, turning her head to face me gently. She was sat on the side of the bed so she was at the same height as me.

"I don't think I would have gotten over you either Willow." And then I kissed her. This time I truly kissed her, knowing that this time wouldn't be the last. Willow kissed back and after we separated she asked…

"Your not gonna slap me now are you?" I looked at her, trying to figure out if she was joking or not.

"What?"

"Oh nothing. I dreamt for the first time last night…It was about you. We were kissing and then you slapped me and called me a bitch. I was just checking that you weren't going to do that again." She was smiling at the end so I knew that she wasn't taking it seriously.

"I was the subject of your first dream?" I queried, my face breaking into a huge grin.

"Yeah. You were." She told me before leaning in and kissing me again. Her lips were addictive. They tasted like strawberries and honey. Sweet and sensuous.

"Umm guys…I know your glad to see each other again but can you just lay off the smoochies for a few minutes. You have visitors." I looked over Willows shoulder to see Faith, Buffy and Dawn stood in the doorway.

"Hey guys." Said Willow, still holding my good hand.

"Hey." I said quietly, a small smile still on my face. Well at least now everyone knew that we were reasonably serious about each other.

"Hey Tara. How are you feeling?" asked Buffy, stepping into the room

"The next person that asks me that I'm going to make pay me five pounds." I said, still smiling.

"Sorry. I suppose it is a stupid question. We come bearing gifts though. Think you can forgive me?" She asked, holding out a bar of dairy milk. I felt myself grinning.

"Yeah I think I can forgive you. If you hand over the chocolate now." I said, trying very hard not to laugh. Willow did though.

"You had better be planning on sharing it with your saviour Tara Maclay." She said as she turned back to me.

"And what if I'm not?" I teased, taking the bar from Buffy

"Then I'll just have to steal it." She replied, kissing me quickly before taking the bar from my hand.

"No fair stealing from the cripple." I whined. Willow opened the chocolate, broke off a piece and offered it to me. I ate it, smiling at the fact that she was finger feeding me. We stayed there for quite a while, laughing and messing around. I don't think the other patients were all that impressed but honestly I didn't care. I was with my Willow again. And I was happy.

**A/N: No this is not the end. There should be a few more chapters. Lemon coming soon…Looking forward to it?  
Internet Dairy Milk (Hand fed to you by Willow) For reviewers. Nothing for anyone else :)**

**R&R Please.**


	8. Fluff

It was half term when Tara got out of the hospital. She came to stay with me and my parents were happy to have her there. In fact they were so pleased that I had FINALLY found someone who could control me that they agreed to pay her tuition fees until she graduated. The day before we went back we were walking in the woods behind my house.

"Tara…careful. The hill is a bit steep." I called back as I turned to watch Tara struggling to get down the hill.

Her arm was healing but she still would have to wear a sling for another three weeks. I moved back up the hill a little bit and took her good hand to help her down.

"Thanks, Will…where are we going?" She asked as we trundled through all the brambles.

I turned back and smiled at her.

"That, dear Tara, is a secret and if I told you I would have to kill you." I said, with the straightest face I could manage, but I couldn't stop a little smile worming its way onto my face.

Tara smiled back and so we kept walking. I was actually taking her to a secret place I had found when I was little. A big weeping Willow and a huge meadow around it. I had been sneaking out there during half term to do it up. It now had a swing hanging from one of the branches. A swing big enough for two, of course. A barbeque and I took out some veg and some meat and some drinks in a cool box earlier today. The perfect romantic meal before we went back to school. When we arrived I heard Tara gasp. True, I had strung up a few flowers but there was nothing spectacular. She almost fell into the two-seater swing.

"Willow…what is this?" I smiled and sat next to her.

"I thought a little private time was in order…since the last time we spent alone together was in the hospital as my parents won't let us sleep in the same room and keep a constant watch over us." I said with a smile.

Tara leaned against me and I lifted my arm to allow her better access. I'm not sure how long we sat there but I know it must have been a while, her just lying there and me absent-mindedly stroking her long hair.

"Baby, we should probably eat something soon. What do you want? We got veg kebabs, meat kebabs, burgers, and sausages. Name your poison." I said after a while, and after hearing Tara's stomach grumble.

She sat up and blearily rubbed her eyes. When had she fallen asleep? 

"Tired, baby?" I asked as she sat up.

"Yeah…little bit. Not been sleeping to well…that and I am a little whacked after walking all this way."

Awwww. She was so cute. I stood and went to light the barbeque. I then knew she was really tired because she normally wouldn't let me anywhere near matches. I set it alight and then walked back to Tara, grabbing two cans of sprite as I went. I opened one and handed it to her before opening the other and sitting down again.

"This should wake you up a little bit." I said with a smile as Tara hiccupped slightly, I think it was because of the bubbles.

"Do you remember that time you made me laugh while I was drinking coke?" She asked, leaning against me again.

I snorted slightly.

"Yeah…it came out of your nose right?" I replied, remembering the look on her face.

It was a cross between pure horror, laughter and fury. The horror was from the fact she now had coke dripping down her face from her nose. The laughter was from the completely random comment I had made and the fury was directed at me for making her laugh. It was an amusing combination.

"You'd better not do it again." She said, a smile in her voice.

"Should I not do this either?" I asked as I reached my arms around and began tickling her sides. She squirmed, trying to get away from me while howling with laughter.

"WILLOW!" She shouted as I stopped and jumped to my feet.

I walked back towards the barbeque but turned back at the last moment.

"Now, no jumping on me Missy Tara. Or I'll hit the barbeque and then you'll have flame grilled girlfriend. And I don't think I could handle any MORE time in hospital." I told her, trying to look stern but I had a feeling that I was failing epically.

"Fine." She pouted, now sitting cross-legged on the swing. I smiled again before picking up two meat kebabs and two veggie kebabs and placing them on the barbeque.

"They should take about ten minutes or so." I said and I sat down in front of the barbeque.

I knew what would happen if I went and sat next to her. She would tickle me. That or come up with some other form of being mean. So here I was staying.

"Dammit." I heard Tara curse under her breath.

I knew it. She was waiting for me to get back so she could ambush me. I stuck my tongue out at her and then burst out laughing. I was acting like a five year old. She wasn't doing much better but yeah… 

"I won't tickle you. Promise."

I smiled and stood, dusting the dry mud off my butt. I sat down and before I could even begin to process what was happening Tara had brought her lips down onto mine. If this was the payback I got for tickling her I needed to tickle her more often. I allowed her control for a little bit before pushing back against her and letting my tongue swipe her lips. She gasped and that gave me the opportunity needed to slip my tongue in and caress hers with it. She gently bit my tongue as I drew away and I smiled.

"I really need to tickle you more."

I looked at my watch to find that ten minutes had already passed. Wow. She was a really good kisser. As I walked back to the barbeque I grabbed two plates. I placed the four kebabs on the plates, two on each, and walked back. We ate in relative silence, save for the sound of our chewing and the odd sipping of Sprite. I watched her eat and couldn't help but think how cute she looked when she chewed before disturbing the silence by saying, 

"I missed this."

Tara looked at me and I chewed my lip and looked down, trying to figure out how to say what I was thinking.

"How do you mean?" She asked, setting her plate down on the floor.

I did the same, still trying to figure out how to tell her what was going through my head.

"I missed us…over the past few weeks. Things have been so up and down and all over the place that I feel like we haven't had chance to just sit…To sit and to be us." I babbled, my mouth motoring on without my brains permission.

Tara just looked at me with the same adoring smile that made my heart melt every time and said 5 words that made me wonder why I hadn't tried something like this before.

"Then let's just be us."

"Let's."

* * *

**Em: Nice bit of fluff...Merry christmas to all my readers :)**

**Big thanks to my BETA Laragh-Aneki :)**

**R&R Please**


	9. AN

I have given this story to 'Some Broken Hearts Never Heal'

She will be re-uploading everything on her account, perhaps editing some stuff.

I am shutting down my account. Emziiee-xxx will be no longer on

I'm concentrating on my school work and such from now on. I'm sorry. All of my unfinished stories will be going up for adoption, though this one has already been taken.

Feel free to contact me if you want to take any of my other stories.


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